This is a sign: it’s time to stop comparing yourself to others. We live in a society bombarded with content, photographs, words, and advertisements that tell us how to live, how to talk, and even what to think!
And one popular, toxic message is this: “You’ll be happier if you (fill in the blank).” In other words, you’ll be happier if you were thinner, richer, prettier. You’ll be happier if you have a house, relationship, clothes, travel opportunities, and everything else you might see on social media, the internet, or in advertisements.
It’s time to wake up, because this simply isn’t true.
The truth is: you can be happy right now. You can create the beautiful life right where you are.
By the end of this article you will learn 6 powerful ways to stop comparing yourself to others. You got this. 🙂
Stop being mindless, start being mindful
A lot of people live their lives on auto-pilot, meaning that they go through their day without really thinking about what they’re doing. They’re not present.
Maybe a typical day looks like this: wake up, jump on social media, go to work, come home, check social media, eat, watch movies, sleep. Repeat.
If you ask me, that looks pretty empty.
A lot of our lives are spent doing mundane things because we aren’t being mindful about our activities.
And what’s worse… being mindless leads us to activities that drain our energy and make us feel like “not enough.” We revert to mindless things like scrolling through social media, browsing the web, or watching pointless shows.
We stopped living and started going on auto-pilot
All of this auto-pilot teaches our mind a lack of self control. Instead of mindfully evaluating what we’re doing or consuming, we allow an auto-pilot to turn on. We start comparing ourselves to others because we’ve completely zoned out of who we are, what we’re doing, and WHY we’re doing those things.
The first way to stop comparing ourselves to others starts on a very basic level of taking care of ourselves and being present.
Are we being present? Are we aware of what we’re doing or thinking?
Start being present
Start being mindful, not mindless. When we let other things take control of our lives, it’s easy to let the comparison trap run rampant.
Set clear boundaries for yourself and evaluate every part of your day, from the moment you wake up, to ensure you are mindfully living.
When we start being more mindful, we become aware of our habits and thoughts. Awareness of our habits and thoughts helps us recognize when we start comparing ourselves to others, and why.
This is the very first, and probably the most important, step in the process to stop comparing yourself to others.
Ask yourself “Why?”
Start asking questions, specifically, “Why?”
- Why are you comparing yourself to the person on social media?
- Why are you spending so much time on this app, internet, or website, especially when it leaves you feeling drained, misaligned, and anxious?
- Why are you following this person/brand/thing that doesn’t make you feel better about yourself?
- Why do you keep going on your phone?
- Why do you keep thinking about that person/place/thing that “seems” better than you?
- Why do you feel “less” than others?
- Stop looking at or following those you compare yourself to
Every article that shares ways to stop comparing yourself to others includes this key: stop looking at or following people you compare yourself to.
It’s elementary, but sometimes we need the reminder. Unfollow, mute, block… do whatever you need to do to stop comparing yourself to someone else. Their life is not your life.
Be grateful
Another key to stop comparing yourself to others is gratitude. When we compare ourselves to others, it’s because we see a lack in our own lives.
“I don’t have a house like that.” “I don’t look like that person…” We say these things in our heads, but in reality, we are doing better than we think. In fact, we’re right where we need to be in our journey.
Gratitude helps us see how far we’ve come in our journey. Instead of looking at what we don’t have, we appreciate what we do have.
Some people write gratitude lists to help see the blessings in their lives. Others keep a journal or share their thoughts with a loved one. When we appreciate what we do have, it helps us focus on the now, the present.
We save so much time and energy by being grateful, instead of coveting others and comparing ourselves to them.
Be realistic
A lot of times the things we see on social media and the internet are not real. When we consume content, we see the final product, not everything else that went on behind the scenes. The final product is practically perfect: a professional photo of a family, a
Have an abundance mindset
Know that there’s room for everyone, including you. You have a unique contribution to make. There’s nobody on this earth like you, and we need you.
When you start to see from this perspective, you invite an abundance mindset into your life. Instead of comparing yourself to others, you have now entered a higher plane of thought:
Good for them, you might think.There’s no need to fret over whether they deserve it or not. You don’t even give a second thought to, “Because they look this way, I’ll never be like that…” All negativity towards others subsides, and your self confidence has increased.
There’s room for everyone. Others around you are on their journey, and you’re on your own journey. You have no desire to compare or covet. This is the abundance mindset, and, once reached, will help your life immensely, no comparison required!
In conclusion
It sucks to always compare yourself to other people. It’s a time and energy killer, and really can drag you down. But there’s a better way to life: being mindful, grateful, and having an abundance mindset. There’s so much in life to enjoy and appreciate When we pull ourselves out of the comparison trap, it’s easier to feel self confident, enjoy the journey, and be excited for the future. You got this friend!
P.S. There’s a Hawaiian value called “ho’omau,” which means to “keep going” and “move forward.” It goes right along with this section. You can read more about this value in a book I wrote. Check it out here: Aloha State of Mind
What are your thoughts?
How do you deal with comparing yourself to others? Let us know in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you. Mahalo!
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