Are you confident in your appearance? Do you ever look in the mirror and immediately feel overwhelmed with insecurity, worthlessness, or self doubt? Even if you got the best rest, reached a dream goal, or have amazing relationships… you might feel a nagging inside of you that you’re simply not enough.
And that feeling of “not enough” stems from your appearance. You could be doing everything right, yet still feel like you’re not “good enough” because you lack confidence in your physical looks.
This article will discuss all the ways on how to be confident in your appearance. You truly deserve to be confident in your appearance. Your looks should never hold you back from creating the beautiful life or doing what you love. Let’s explore how to be confident in your appearance, because it’s time to overcome this insecurity and own who you are.
Also read: How to not care what others think about you
Accept first who you are
Everyone on this earth is unique and different, and we all have something to contribute. Our contributions are much more important than our physical appearances, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about how we look.
It’s important to look and feel your best. Furthermore, you should feel confident in your appearance. But sometimes there are attributes of our physical bodies that we can’t control. For example, we can’t control the color of our skin, hair, or eyes. Our height, bone mass, face structure and features, and other factors aren’t something we get to decide.
What we can decide, however, is to own who we are.
The color of your skin is beautiful and uniquely you. The height, body build, face structure, and other features of your body are uniquely yours. Instead of shaming our bodies because it doesn’t look a certain way, let’s embrace ourselves.
There are a lot of media and marketing going around about “body love.” This is important, but it can also become toxic if the media being portrayed shows an unrealistic or unhealthy body image.
We need to use our best judgement to know what is best for our individual bodies. Just because a certain workout or diet has worked for someone else, doesn’t mean it will work for you. Be in control of your body and the decisions you make for it.
Respect your body, honor it, and accept it the way it is. When you can accept your body, your self confidence in your appearance begins to grow.
Read about “kuleana” in my book Aloha State of Mind, which further explores how to own who you are!
Example of accepting your body
I once read an article about a girl with an aquiline nose, also known as “hook” or “Roman” nose. She said she hated it, and felt self conscious anytime people took pictures. All she could see was her nose.
However, as she grew older, she realized that her insecurity about her nose held her back from truly enjoying things. She decided to change her perspective about her nose, and that changed everything else. When this girl accepted her looks, she gained self confidence in other aspects of her life.
Practical ways to improve your appearance
While there are some features about your body and appearance that you can’t control, there are practical things you can and should control.
You’ve probably heard these tips from parents, doctors, and other sources, but they’re worth repeating. Practicing good hygiene and taking care of your body will help you feel more confident in your appearance.
Here are practical ways to improve your appearance:
- Drink plenty of water, exercise, and get enough sleep
- Brush your teeth every morning and night
- Wash your hair everyday (or every other day, depending) and brush it
- Use deodorant (but avoid perfumes because most people are sensitive to perfume, including me!)
- Keep nails, facial hair, and bodily hair trimmed and well-groomed
- Wear clean clothes and use clean sheets and pillowcases
- Do your due diligence and research how to take care of bodily problems that arise (fungus in toenails, ingrown hairs, dandruff-filled scalp, acne, damaged hair, etc). Don’t just let these problems go, because they’ll pull your self confidence down.
Take responsibility and make it better
While we often don’t need to do anything crazy to improve our appearance, there are some instances we can and should make things better for ourselves.
There’s nothing wrong with doing something to improve our looks, as long as it doesn’t cause harm, and as long as we’re doing it for the right reasons.
I know a lot of people who get braces or invisalign later in life, or get tummy tucks or other alterations years after pregnancy. Some people get hair implants or laser eye surgery. We shouldn’t judge people for choosing to get body alterations—it’s a very, very personal choice.
If there’s something about your appearance that deeply bothers you, know that you have every option to take responsibility and make it better.
For example, if you know you need to lose weight, then take the necessary steps to do so. We all want to be healthy and feel well, and being the proper weight helps with that.
Another example is if there’s something you’ve felt insecure about throughout your life that could be fixed, then it’s ok to fix it. It’s entirely personal and up to you. Fixing a skin blemish, straightening a nose, or getting braces… all of these are your choice.
Just be sure to know the reason behind it. Do you believe changing this feature about your body will improve the quality of your life? Go for it.
Are you hoping that changing a feature will make you happy? You might want to reconsider, because happiness doesn’t come with some end result. Happiness can be felt right now, even with the way you look now.
Read more here: 10 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness
Don’t get caught up in it
Some people start doing one thing, and then can’t stop. Plastic surgery, tanning booths, extensions, fillers, implants, and more can taunt people and say, “It wasn’t enough to do it once.” People spend hundreds of millions of dollars on body alterations, thinking that it will make them happy.
Most of this is caused by the unrealistic images we see all around us. The media tells you not to be confident in your appearance and, instead, feel like you’re “not enough.”
The culture and media today is obsessed with outward appearances. Hollywood, celebrities, influencers, and social media have made it feel like outwards appearances are all that matter.
But they’re not.
While it’s important to take good care of yourself (for your own health and self confidence), you should never feel like your appearance is the only thing that gives you worth.
You are of worth because you’re a child of God. You have a unique divine identity and purpose. When the world says that you’re not enough, remember that it’s the world speaking. You don’t need to look like the celebrities in the magazines. They’ve done plenty of body alterations to make themselves look a certain way, and outward appearance isn’t the most important thing in life.
In fact, you can be the “most beautiful,” “most attractive” person in the world but still be an ugly person.
Also read: Do you know who you really are?
Be grateful for your body
Your body is incredible. It functions and works, even when you consciously aren’t paying attention to it. We can breathe without thinking about it, and our heart pumps without us telling it to do so.
The body heals when it’s wounded, and does whatever it can to prolong your life. Even when you mistreat your body or consume harmful things, your body fights and does what it can to protect you.
Be grateful for your body. It works overtime for you, and is amazing.
Because it works so hard for you, work hard for your body. Take care of it. Nourish it. Stop shaming it for things out of your control. It is doing its best, and the least you can do is appreciate it for being the incredible body it is. Be confident in your appearance out of gratitude and respect for your amazing body.
True beauty comes from within
What it boils down to is this: true beauty comes from within.
I’m sure you know that person who is a “plain Jane,” with not much outward beauty… yet they’re the most beautiful person we know.
That stems from a beautiful heart.
While it’s important to work on our outward appearance and ensure we care for our bodies and hygiene, it’s more important to work on our inner beauty. The strongest form of self confidence comes from within.
When you are kind, compassionate, forgiving, loving, and helpful, you can get have more self confidence from inside of you than your outward appearances.
Some of the most beautiful people I’ve known in life have not looked like celebrities. Their hands are rough from years of hard work, their skin weathered from the sun, and their faces wrinkled from a life of experience.
They’re beautiful. Can you think of someone in your life who doesn’t look like the people on social media, but who are exceptionally beautiful because of their personality?
Please don’t get too caught up in physical appearances. The right people like you for the right reasons, and you’ll attract the kind of people who appreciate and love you for you.
Your body is a temple
Lastly, it’s important to note that your body is a temple. When you think of a temple, imagine a sacred, holy, beautiful place. Temples are physical places on earth where God can dwell. Isn’t that beautiful?
Your body is a temple in its own way. It houses your spirit… so when you care for your temple (your body), you care for your spirit. Instead of using things that might harm your body, you create space for light and love from God to enter in.
Treat your body with the respect, honor, and care that it deserves. God gave us these bodies for a reason, so let’s embrace and be grateful for them.
Don’t listen to other people’s comments about your body
Has anyone ever commented about your body? Maybe a person told you, “You’re too skinny” or “You’re so short,” or something else. Sometimes people openly criticize, but, more often, people make a comment that sounds neither complimentary nor unkind. It’s as if they want you to stew over their comment, and wonder if there’s something wrong with yourself.
Please don’t take these sorts of comments to heart. The people who comment on your body are simply revealing an insecurity of their own.
For example, I had a classmate in high school who told me, “You’d be pretty if you didn’t have this.” She drew a picture of my side profile and pointed to the space between my chin and neck. I didn’t have a double chin, but it also didn’t curve up perfectly.
I thought about it for a while, then realized I was ok with how I looked. She probably had an insecurity of her own. In fact, now that I think about it, she hardly had a chin, because her face was so close to her neck. Instead of facing her own insecurities and being ok with herself, my classmate projected her insecurity onto me.
But I didn’t let it bother me. I chose to move on, because I accepted myself and was ok with how I looked.
You can be too. Don’t let other peoples unkind, unthoughtful, off, and rude remarks change your perspective on yourself. People who are hurting seek to hurt other people, so it’s not you! You’re amazing, and beautiful. Keep it up.
In conclusion
Remember that happiness can be felt at any circumstance in life. While a body alteration might temporarily provide happiness and satisfaction, that happiness will fade away with time. It’s important to learn to accept and be happy where you are now.
It’s ok if you struggle with self appearance. Everyone struggles with it at some point. The key is to accept yourself, and control what you can. For the things you can’t control, it’s ok to get some sort of body alteration made, but always ask yourself what the true, deep reason for it is. Will the body alteration improve the quality of your life? Or are you hoping that it will make you happy?
Your body is amazing. Give it credit for all the work its done in keeping you alive and doing its best. Don’t let other peoples’ words or judgments bring you down because, honestly, you look great just the way you are!
What are your thoughts?
Has your self confidence grown when you know you look and feel good? What advice do you have for others who struggle with personal appearance? Let us know in the comments below. Mahalo!
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