Life never seems to turn out the way we plan or expect it to.
Disappointment, challenges, and obstacles face us at every turn. Sometimes we want to throw in the towel, give up, (and sometimes we do give up!) but there’s a strength and resilience that builds within us when we choose to be confident and push forward.
In Hawaii, there’s a phrase people use called “hele on.” Hele is the Hawaiian word for “go, travel, or move” so the phrase means to go on, travel on, move on. “Hele on” is a reminder that while we can’t always control our circumstances, we can control ourselves.
Read more about Hawaiian values here: Aloha State of Mind
We can choose to hele on and be strong, despite what’s going on around us.
In this article, you will learn 6 practical and easy ways to be self confident and move on when things don’t go as planned… because when do they ever?
Ask yourself, “Is it the end of the world if…”
If you’re at the head of a company and something major falls through, or if you’re completing a project and it doesn’t turn out… ask yourself: “Is it the end of the world if (fill in the rest)?”
The answer is always no.
It’s not the end of the world if things don’t turn out perfectly. In fact, the world will keep spinning, people will move on with their lives, and so will you.
Choose to take control, instead of lose control. This means you can either succumb to the disappointment and discouragement, or let it propel you forward. Ask yourself, “How can I do better next time?” or “Was this really worth all the worry and stress?”
Evaluate your priorities
Sometimes people stress over stupid things. I mean this in the kindest way, because everyone has their priorities mixed up at some point in their lives.
When things didn’t go as planned, did it force you to think in a different perspective? Hopefully it did, because it’s not worth it to stress and agonize over things we can’t control.
So things didn’t go as planned… and that’s ok! The point of this life is learning to make choices, be creative to make solutions, and adapt. When we look at the bright side of the things not going as planned, we’ll see that challenges build character. They make us stronger and more creative.
Everything happens for a reason
I believe that there’s no such thing as a coincidence. Everything happens for a reason, including when things fall through. Have you ever looked back at your life, especially the things that didn’t go well, and realize… I’m really glad it didn’t go well. Because it led you to another path, a better path.
I know people who are disappointed at failed relationships, not getting the “dream” job, or even getting rejected for something they wanted. Yet, instead of being mad about it, they’re grateful for the setback! It forced them to re-evaluate their life and what they truly want.
Everything happens for a reason, including things that don’t go as planned.
Failures aren’t a representation of yourself
Some people equate their failures to their character. In other words, if they fail, they take it personally, like they’ve now failed at everything.
That’s not true.
Failures are a part of life, and it’s OK to fail. Failing helps us learn and grow. Many people wouldn’t be where they are today if they didn’t fail.
In fact, I don’t even think I’d be here, writing this article about overcoming things that don’t work out and building your confidence. One of our neighbors has the words “Fail faster” on his wall and it’s such a great reminder to not be afraid of failure.
We all fail and make mistakes. It’s a part of life and it’s completely OK.
Set realistic expectations
Sometimes things don’t go as planned because we set our expectations too high or unrealistic.
I know this from personal experience. As a writer, I sometimes set word counts too high, or try to complete a book within a short time frame, causing myself unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Be kind to yourself. It’s ok to be hopeful and get excited for whatever you’re doing, but be realistic with deadlines. Give your energy and time the respect it deserves, and if it feels like too much, then it probably is.
We live in a “hustle” culture, a culture where our value and worth is determined by how much we get done. Move past the hustle culture to a place of self respect, confidence, and worth. Honor your time, energy, and dreams.
Learn to laugh
Humor is a very clever way that us, humans, deal with stress and anxiety. And it works very well! Instead of stressing out over little things, learn to laugh it off.
Is it really that big of a deal?
Read more about learning to be happy, no matter what: How to stop sabotaging your happiness
In conclusion
Things won’t go as planned in life, and that’s OK. It’s nothing personal, not an attack on your self confidence or your self worth. Things happen, people make choices, and you’re going to be ok despite it all.
If you can look at setbacks in a healthier way, using the tips from this article, you’ll be able to keep your self confidence to create the beautiful life. You got this friend!
How do you stay confident when things don’t go as planned?
Do you have additional tips for others who are going through a rough patch? Let us know in the comments below!
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