Do you want to learn how to be happy for other people?
Have you ever accomplished or succeeded at something and felt good about yourself as people congratulated you? They were genuinely excited for you, boosting you up and reminding you of the hard work it took to get to this amazing feat and experience. These emotions can make an impact on us, motivating us to keep going on our journey, and to not give up.
But we may not always have this sort of validation and excitement for things happening in our lives. Many of us have learned to self-validate, because other people don’t know how to be happy for us.
And, if you’re like me, you’re probably tired of the people who aren’t genuinely happy for you. A lot of people tend to get self absorbed during big events: weddings, graduations, baby announcements, dream job news, and so forth. Instead of being happy, they make it all about themselves.
Do you find yourself doing this too?
It’s too easy to do, as social media and the social culture in general has made us compare our lives to other people. And when other people succeed, all we can see is our own lack. It makes us feel resentful towards others, even if we don’t want to realize that deep down within us.
It’s time to learn how to be happy for other people… genuinely happy. In this article, you will learn how to be happy for other people, to dig deep within yourself, and learn how to be genuine in your response to other people’s big, exciting news.
Dig deep
The first question to ask yourself is this: why am I not happy for other people?
Did something happen that makes you resentful of the other person? Maybe you feel like they don’t deserve the accomplishment. Sometimes people feel resentful of others because they seem to get everything they want or have the “perfect” lives.
When you hear someone’s good news, listen more to your thoughts and emotions than to your outward reaction. You might exclaim “congratulations,” clap, and smile, but what’s happening inside of you?
Are you genuinely happy for that person? Or do you feel a sink in your stomach, or a tightening of your nerves?
A lot of times we don’t know how to be happy for others because we haven’t dealt with our own trauma and baggage. We project our insecurities, intentionally or not, around us.
So listen to your thoughts. Look for insecurities. Be open and honest with yourself when you hear of other people’s accomplishments. Don’t be afraid to dig deep. The deeper you go into your emotions, the more you’ll discover about yourself.
Common examples that signal you should dig deep
You might find that you never felt congratulated in your own life, so why should you extend that kindness to someone else? Dig deep down and find the bitterness within yourself. Forgive those in your life who didn’t show or give you the excitement and validation you needed, and make a choice to move forward.
Another example is that a person wants attention (most likely because they didn’t get that attention growing up), so instead of celebrating with others, they want everyone to look at and listen to them. As someone shares exciting news, you might hear yourself saying things like, “Well I did __ before and…” or “I knew it!” You want people to look at you, and take the attention away, instead of keeping it on the person who is sharing their good news.
Again, dig deep down and figure out why you are doing this. Are you being self-centered? Is there an insecurity within yourself that needs healing? Do you simply need to recognize that you won’t always get attention? Listen to your thoughts, reactions, and dig deep to find the reasoning behind it. As you do so, you’ll find clarity. Maybe there are wounds that need healing in your life. Or perhaps you simply need to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Tough love, I know, but someone’s got to say it.
Put yourself in their shoes
What if you were in their position? How would you want others to respond to you sharing good news?
Maybe someone is sharing about a big job promotion or a project they completed. How do you react? Will you stare at them, blank? Are you going to change the subject after they finish?
When I was a young adult, I learned that there are two kinds of people: the ones who give you the emotional reaction you want, and the ones who blink their eyes and stare at you, unsure of what to say.
I’ve learned that it’s always better to be the one who reacts emotionally. It doesn’t have to be huge—you don’t need to cry or scream or anything, but be the person who shows up for others. Put yourself in their shoes and see how proud, happy, and accomplished they feel. Join in those emotions with them.
Of course, don’t fake it. If you really don’t know how to react, say that too. It’s better to be honest than to fake a reaction.
Some people also share that they don’t emotionally react, but express that they’re truly happy for others. Honesty is always the best policy.
Some people don’t have reactions but it’s a skill you can learn
Another lesson to learn is that some people just don’t react emotionally. There are various reasons for this, including personality differences, past trauma, and so forth.
But just because you might not know how to react doesn’t mean you can’t learn how to emotionally reacting.
For example, I am a natural introvert. I don’t naturally show my emotions to people, but I’ve learned to do so. How did I learn? Through observation.
Watch other people, especially genuine, salt-of-the-earth kind of people. What are they doing? How do they show their enthusiasm in their faces, body language, and energy?
Emotionally reacting helps people feel comfortable, seen, and validated. Doesn’t mean you have to go all out, but just showing some emotion helps us connect as human beings. We all need that.
Stop stealing the moment
Have you ever heard of the person that “steals the thunder?” Whether they cut in before the person could share their news, or turned the attention on themselves after the news is shared… these kind of people are such downers! And it’s so annoying.
Do you know what this does to people who share their good news? They’re not going to share with you again. Maybe they won’t learn the first time, but after several experiences, they’ve been trained by you to not share good news because all you’ll do is steal the thunder. You’ll take their moment to shine.
Just as I discussed digging deep, this is a serious thing you need to think about. If you want to know how to be happy for others, you need to let them have their moment.
Think of a time when others celebrated with you. Wasn’t it nice to be recognized and acknowledged? Are you allowing that for other people?
Stop taking other peoples’ moments to shine. When people have big news to share, let them share it. Don’t try to claim that you knew, or that you were somehow part of it when you had nothing to do it with it. Acknowledge the work, time, and effort that they put into their accomplishment and that will help you be happy for them.
Stop comparing yourself to others
This tip goes along with digging deep. Social media has created a fake world where we constantly compare ourselves to other people.
If they have the perfect pictures, captions, and lifestyle, or if brands consistently tell us we’re not enough if we don’t have a particular item, we feel down on ourselves. We see the lack in our own lives, instead of the blessings.
It’s a toxic, downward spiral, a comparison game that never seems to end. Again, dig deep and listen to your thoughts. How do you feel as you view content on social media? Do you feel uplifted, motivated, and inspired? If not, why is that?
Sometimes it’s best to unfollow and unplug until you can take care of yourself. There’s a wonderful point, where self confidence shines, that you can say, “Good for them” as you look at pictures, and move on. Do what you can to get yourself to that point, and stop trapping yourself in the comparison game. As you do so, it’s easier for you to be happy for other people and their accomplishments.
Also read: How to stop comparing yourself to others
Pray for charity
A simple yet often overlooked tip is to pray. God wants to help us serve and love our brother and sisters here on Earth, but sometimes we need his help.
Pray for the charity to see others as God sees them. When we see through God’s eyes, we see beautiful, imperfect sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father, doing their best. God’s love helps us naturally be happy for others at any stage of life.
In conclusion
If you want to be happy for other people, today is the day to start doing that. A lot of people turn inward when big events happen. They feel like the attention should be on them, or they feel like it’s unfair that someone else is doing so well…
But there’s a point in self confidence where you genuinely feel happy for other people, because you’re happy with yourself. Dig deep to overcome your insecurities, heal your trauma, and move forward. Because when you’re self confident and happy with yourself, it’s easier to be naturally be happy for others. You got this friend!
You might also like these articles about boosting your self confidence:
-How to be Self Confident at Any Age
-Ways to Stop Caring What People Think
What are your thoughts?
Is there a method you use to be happy for other people and their accomplishments? Did you like one of the methods listed here? Let us know in the comments. We’d love to hear your thoughts. Mahalo!
Save this pin for later!
