How to be Humble and Confident

Is there such a thing as being humble and confident? Perhaps you’re starting to finally see success in your business, creative endeavor, or entrepreneurial pursuits. Doesn’t it feel good?

While you might want to shout your success from the rooftops, you hesitate… After all, you don’t want to come off as snobby. You don’t want to make others feel bad because of the good things that are happening in your life. And, of course, nobody wants to act or be viewed as prideful.

The scriptures say that pride is “enmity to God,” so how can we be humble and confident? Is it possible to be both of those at the same time? And what if you want to share your good news with others? How can you do it in a way that isn’t boastful, self absorbed, proud, or even narcissistic?

In this article we’ll cover how to be humble and confident. Let’s dive right in!

First, remember self validation

As creators, entrepreneurs, and business owners, we should have this technique down to a T. Self validation is something every creator needs to have, because people won’t always support or love what you do. But as long as you love what you do, stand behind it, and know that your work serves people, then feel good about yourself and your work!

Self validation means that you don’t need other people’s words of affirmation, compliments, or comments to boost your self confidence. You fully own and know that you’re doing a good thing.

Self validation has probably carried you through the lows of the entrepreneurial and creative journey. It helped you when nobody and nothing else came in to support you.

So when it comes to being humble and confident, ask yourself whose opinions matter most? We all love to receive positive feedback, compliments, and raving reviews, but when all of that disappears, what matters?

Your opinion and God’s opinion matter the most.

To stay humble and confident, understand that you don’t have to broadcast or share every little thing happening in your life, business, or projects. You can feel happy and confident in your work. As you self validate, you can keep a humble heart and remember your “why” behind the work you do.

Check out my book, Aloha State of Mind, which talks about creating paradise where you are.

Don’t be a narcissist

Self confidence and narcissism are two different things, and the biggest difference between them is humility. A self confident person stays humble, no matter the circumstance. Even if they have the greatest news in the world, they know that all the glory and honor goes to God, and that their work is another avenue to further God’s work.

Meanwhile, narcissists lack any form of humility. Even if they pretend to come off as humble and submissive, they aren’t. Everything with narcissists is a show so that they can get what they want.

A narcissist person is very proud, believing that they’re always right. They resist change and can’t even bear to think that they’re wrong. Everyone else is the problem, not the narcissist, and they will do anything and everything they can to make sure people know that. Narcissists always have to look good, and even if they made a mistake, they will defend themselves to the point that it’s not even worth it to argue with them.

On the other hand, a self confident person is humble, believing that there’s always room for growth. They make plenty of mistakes but don’t let the failures stop or hinder them. Mistakes and failures are only stepping stones. They have empathy for others and themselves. Self confident people accept correction and criticism, always seeking ways to improve.

So being humble and confident includes avoiding narcissistic tendencies. Be open to feedback from others, and seek help when you need it.

If you want to read more about narcissists, check this out: How Narcissists Try to Control Others (and what you can do to break free)

Don’t toot your own horn

This is an idiom that describes a person who boasts of him or herself in a prideful way. It’s ok to talk about your achievements, but don’t do it in a snobby way.

Before sharing anything, always ask yourself “why?”

Why do you want to share this? Are you with friends who sincerely want to know what you’re up to, and who long to celebrate with you?

Or perhaps you’ve encountered someone who you don’t like, and you want to prove something. If this is the case, you’re tooting your own horn. You’re trying to build yourself up by sharing your achievements, seeking validation from others when you could easily validate yourself (or get validation from God).

For example

I know a lot of people who toot their own horns. As a self published author, I’ve met other aspiring writers and authors. Mostly, I’ve met a lot of aspiring authors. They say things like, “I want to write and publish a book,” yet they do nothing about it. They never ask about my projects but, instead, talk about their grand outlines and big ideas. These people say they could see their books turning into movies or shows, but… they don’t do anything.

The most successful people actually don’t say much (unless they’re self absorbed or narcissistic to some degree haha). Have you ever heard this quote?

Work in silence and let success be your noise.

This is a key to being humble and confident. Put your work out there, have joy in your creation and sharing what you do, but don’t be boastful or prideful about it.

Have you ever met someone who was incredibly successful, but you didn’t know it until later? Be that person. The most successful people are the ones who are walking the walk, not just talking the talk. They’re out there working hard, doing the thing, instead of “tooting their own horn.”

Remember that pride is a sin

The scriptures repeatedly share stories and quotes about the dangers of pride. From a biblical and scriptural standpoint, pride is “enmity towards God.”
Pride says, “I did this all myself” and doesn’t give any glory to God. People who are proud think they know everything—even if they don’t say or express that. They think that they did everything “on their own” and God had nothing to do with it.

Pride is hatred towards God. It says “I’m better than you” and puts no faith or trust in His beautiful plan for your life.

While many of us might read this and think, “That’s extreme,” we need to self evaluate and ask:

Am I prideful in my efforts? Do I give God the credit, thanks, and glory for the work I put out? How has God helped me throughout the process?

When you truly look, you’ll see God’s hand throughout the process. There are miracles, blessings, and doors opening each day for you to progress, grow, and improve.

As you weed out pride from any of your attitudes, beliefs, and efforts, you’ll see that humility has always been the better way. All the glory goes to God. Everything you do is to build His kingdom, and the wonderful work you create and put out plays an important role.

Proverbs 11:2 says: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”

Be a person of wisdom and grace to God. There’s so much more to be said on the topic of pride. But being humble and confident weeds out pride and gives all the glory to God the father.

Also read: The fastest way to boost self confidence

In conclusion

It’s possible to be humble and self confident. A lot of confident and successful people are usually the quietest. They work in silence, finding joy in the journey. We live in a world where people like to broadcast everything. Social media has wired us to think that if we don’t share something good that has happened, then we won’t get the attention, validation, or acceptance that we think we want or need.

The thing is… you always belonged. If you know who you truly are as a child of God, you don’t have to worry about what others think of you. Self validation comes naturally and easily for you. Your work and success is a joy to you because of the work you put in, and because you know and have seen God’s hand throughout the process.

Don’t let others steal your joy, and don’t spoil your joy by being boastful and tooting your own horn. Work in silence and let success be your noise. Acknowledge God in all your do, and be sure to give Him the thanks and glory. As you do so, it is easy to be humble and confident. You got this friend!