Everyone has to deal with failure at some point in their journey. Whether you failed a test, didn’t make the goal you’d worked so hard for, or failed to handle a situation in way that made you proud, you have to know that we all fail. Failures cause disappointment, heartache, and, in some cases, pain. They make us want to give up and stop putting in the effort.
But there are healthy ways to deal with failure, ways that inspire us to do and be better. We don’t have to feel like failures are permanent. In fact, most things in life can be fixed, repaired, healed, or we can simply try again.
(And pretty much anything and everything can be made right through Jesus Christ so take hope in that!)
Failures aren’t permanent, as long as we choose to move past them.
This article covers how to deal with failure and will give you the self confidence you need to continue on whatever path you choose. You got this friend!
Failures are a part of life
The first healthy way to deal with failure is to know that it’s a part of life. Everyone fails. Nobody is immune to failure.
Whether a person failed in a relationship, test, dream, or another life endeavor, please know that you’re not alone.
We all experience the same heartache, disappointment, and discouragement that come from failure.
The difference between you and others, however, is how you choose to see your failure. Are you going to let it stop you from moving forward?
Or, will you accept and realize that failures are a part of life, and it’s going to be OK? In fact, when you recognize that failures are a part of life, you respond in a mature manner.
This means you ask yourself questions like, “What did I learn from this failure?” “What can I do differently moving forward?” And so forth.
It’s ok to fail. Failing is a part of the human experience. Without failure, we won’t be able to know what success feels like. Opposition in all things helps us appreciate and experience all that life has to offer.
So try to look at failure in a mature way: it happens to everyone, you can learn a lot of lessons from it, and without failure, we wouldn’t really know what success feels like.
Fail faster
One of our friends has a sign on his wall that says “Fail faster.”
This motto has become something that comes to mind whenever I start to fear the next step, project, or something that might “fail.” Do you ever fear failure before you make a big move?
You might ask yourself questions like, “What will others think of me?”
“What if I fail?”
“Am I willing to risk ___ (fill in the blank with whatever fits, like reputation, time, resources, friends, energy, etc) for this next step?”
Fail faster means you’re not afraid to go for it. You know that stuff might come up. But instead of fearing the unknown, you embrace it, because the faster you fail, the faster you can move forward.
Also read: How to stop caring what others think about you
Don’t be afraid to try
For example, it takes confidence to start any kind of creative endeavor, whether you want to build a YouTube channel, become an influencer, etc. When you’re starting out, however, take all the creative liberty you need to. Try things out, see what works.
The most important thing about “failing faster” is that YOU are learning about yourself:
- What do you like in this process?
- How can you improve your work?
- Why don’t you like doing ___ a certain way?
When you fail faster, you can answer all the questions and set yourself up for a long-term of success. Every person fails at some point in their journey, just as we established earlier. So don’t be afraid of failure and look at it as part of the learning process and journey.
Also read: Biggest Fears Holding You Back From Your Dreams
My experience with “failing faster”
I’m a self-published author, and one thing I learned early on was to fail faster. The faster I failed at things, the quicker I learned. This doesn’t mean that I was sloppy or put in half effort into my work. But it means that I didn’t limit myself.
I tried new things for marketing, editing, and even my own writing. I didn’t limit myself and, instead, gave myself permission to make mistakes.
This is huge: Give yourself permission to make mistakes.
Mistakes and failures will happen on anyone’s life journey, but a mature perspective is accepting that they will happen. And when they happen, it’s going to be OK.
When you fail, it’s going to be ok
One thing I did before the launch of my first book was send free copies of my book to ARC (advanced reader copy) readers. I expected them to read the book, leave a review, and post about it on social media. To my disappointment, less than half of these people left reviews and even fewer than that shared.
Not only did I spend money and energy on this endeavor, but I felt like a failure. I had expected multiple people flashing the book on their feeds and stories on launch day, but nobody showed up.
Did I stop writing books? No.
Did I learn from this? Absolutely.
During my next launch, in fact, I tried new book marketing strategies. Though not perfect at marketing, I’m a lot farther now than I was in the beginning of my self publishing career. I don’t regret trying all those things I did.
My marketing strategies failed and all the time, energy, and resources I put in it could be seen as a waste. But it’s not a waste. It was a part of the process.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes, understand that everything is a process, learn from failures, and celebrate when things go well.
Check out my books here: Leialoha’s Books
Use failures to boost self confidence and motivation
This might sound weird but you can use failures to boost your confidence and motivation. Think of failures as stepping stones. They take us from where we are on one side of the river, to the other side, where we want to go.
Without those stepping stones, we navigate through the river, hoping the current won’t pull us away, or that we’ll suddenly fall into a hole and plunge into the water!
The stepping stones give us a sense of direction.
So do failures.
Failures give us a sense of direction, pointing out flaws and weaknesses in whatever we’re doing. Whether we’re working on better relationships or the dream job, failures can help give us clarity and perspective.
With clarity and perspective, you should feel a sudden boost in confidence and motivation. Now you know what to do and what not to do in the next round.
Suddenly, you see things in a different way… and it’s kind of exciting! Sure, failures cause disappointment and sometimes even discouragement, but, again, try to see them in a positive light.
Failures are stepping stones, helping you cross the river and get to your destination.
Fail time and again, but please don’t become insane
Einstein is quoted as saying “Insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results.” When we fail, we should learn from our mistakes.
Failures are true failures when we fail to learn from them.
Please don’t do the same thing over and over, expecting that things will go differently next time. Not learning from our failures makes us fail over and over.
And it will drive us insane.
Learn from your mistakes. Ask yourself questions and evaluate what could be changed, improved, and even eliminated. Then go forward with your ideas and commitments, but don’t do the same thing over!
Don’t take failure personally
Some people think that failures represent their character. That simple isn’t true.
As we discussed at the beginning of this article, we all make mistakes. And it’s ok. We’re human.
But failures are not a direct reflection of who we are. They might represent a point in our journey, but they’re not the entire journey.
Failures are like challenges in life: they don’t define you, but they can refine you.
Let failures change you to be better, not to drag you down. You’re worthy of success, of doing those things you always wanted to do. Don’t let one failure stop you from trying and, eventually, succeeding!
In conclusion
You’re amazing. Just the fact that you read this article shows that you want to deal with failure in a healthier and mature way. And you’re already doing that!
Keep showing up for yourself, use failures as stepping stones, let failures boost your self confidence, and don’t take failures personally. Success is right around the corner, but success isn’t what guarantees happiness.
You can still be happy right now, even amidst your failures. So don’t forget to enjoy the journey. You got this friend, you’re doing better than you think!
What are your thoughts?
How do you deal with failure? What is an important lesson that failure has taught you? We’d love to hear your thoughts! Please share in the comments below. Mahalo!
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